Are you the next or the first?

Yesterday was all about my newest granddaughter, Keira.  Today was about my first granddaughter, Skylar.  I love the fact that I have the privilege of passing on the wisdom of all the generations before me to these young bright minds.  We have the most interesting conversations!  Since we live some distance from each other, I spend time with her each summer.  We have a list of questions we go through when we reunite that brings us up to date on where we are now and share together how we’ve grown.

Here are three of my favorites from the list:

1)  What was the most interesting new person to come into your life this past year?

For Skylar, sometimes this has been a teacher, sometimes a new friend or neighbor.  But what she shared with me this year is that the most interesting person to come into her life over the past year was in fact someone who had been there before but she felt like she was getting to know all over again – her Mom.  She said that she discovered her Mom is a really interesting person and very talented!  What a delightful and precious thing to hear from your granddaughter about your daughter.  And how nice to know that at nearly 12, she is already discovering the person behind the role.

2)  What was the most interesting book you read this past year?

This one we love because we’re both avid readers.  There is usually a debate as we go over several possibilities and make final choices.  And some years, we simply cannot choose and we allow each other to name two.  But we often share our response to almost a dozen books in the process.  I marvel at how our minds work and how different people can read the same words and be affected in vastly different ways.  And where we are in our life stage can make such a difference.  One year she chose The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe (C.S. Lewis) and it brought back such great memories for me of when I read that as a young girl.  So I made it a point to read it again myself and was able to see it anew from the perspective of those young eyes of the past and the fresher (albeit older!) eyes of now.

3)  What was the most interesting thing that you learned this past year?

This is often the most difficult to answer because the idea of new knowledge is so vast.  But we are usually able to pinpoint it to some area of interest.  Skylar is particularly interested in animals and so in many cases it will be intriguing facts about the latest part of the animal kingdom that has caught her attention.  But sometimes it is something we learn about ourselves, too.  Other years it has been tied to travel.  My daughter’s family takes an RV trip every year to a national park and hike the trails.  They have climbed mountains and go down into craters.  Amazing places!  There are always some interesting facts that she picks up along the way on those journeys.  I love this one most because it means I can share what I have learned which re-enforces the idea of lifelong learners.

As we have gone through the questions this year I thought about the fact that this ritual I have with Skylar binds us together even beyond our familial ties because it keeps us engaged in each other’s lives.  It re-enforces the fact that we not only accept change and diversity in each other, we welcome it and celebrate it.  What a wonderful gift to give each other and something that we would all do well to incorporate into all of our relationships.

For our time today she chose to see the recently released documentary of Katy Perry’s 2011 tour.  I wasn’t sure what to expect but it turned out to be entertaining and insightful.  It gave us more things to talk about.  We both agreed on one thing – our favorite line of the film.  It is where Katy Perry is talking about the time in her career when everyone was trying to find a “spot” for her and figure out what other pop star she should emulate.  You should be the next “??” or the next “??”… She said that she knew that it wasn’t going to work because she wasn’t interested in being the next anyone.. she wanted to be the first Katy Perry.  Bravo!  I loved the lesson not only for Skylar but for me as well!

Brings to mind the words of Oscar Wilde:  “Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.”

I am the first and only me.  How amazing!




About Kathi Laughman

Referred to by her clients as “The Plan B to Z Expert”, Kathi inspires them to see beyond probabilities to possibilities. They are stronger, happier and more financially secure than ever before. The result is the creation of far more value in the rest of their story than they ever dreamed possible. She serves professionals committed to continuously creating new pathways to success and significance.


  1. I love this sharing and building of the bond between generations. I actually feel that it is something I will be trying…with my son. Skylar sounds like an amazing lady and she has an equally amazing grandmother.

    • Thanks for stopping by, Jessica! So glad you enjoyed this and will be trying with your son. Not only do we love sharing the time together, it also makes us more aware of these things throughout the year. Skylar said that when she meets someone she wonders – “Will this be my most interesting person?”.. amazing what expectation does to perspective. Thanks also for your kind words.

  2. That is cool,Kathi! I lived far away from all of my grandparents so I never really had that special time. My daughter is 11 and her Dad’s mom lives really close to her dad so she does get to spend some wonderful time with her and I am so grateful. Thanks for sharing and good luck with the challenge!

    • Thanks for stopping by, Amy. I’m so glad your daughter is able to have that experience. Speaking as a grandparent – it’s so special, for both of them! All the best to you.

  3. Another great post! Loved the questions the two of you share. She is one lucky girl to have you for a grandmother. Conversation is something so lacking between generations. It is wonderful that the two of you are still enjoying these wonderful conversations. She will treasure the time she spends with you forever. I know I treasure the time with my gram. She is gone now, but she understood me in a way no one else did. She was my biggest cheerleader. Enjoy you time with her! And keep writing. You are very good at it.

  4. Thanks for stopping by, Robin. It’s it wonderful to be understood by someone? We all need a champion! I’m glad you experienced that with your Gram. Now it’s our turn to champion the next ones coming up. You’ve still got some time..LOL.. but I’m enjoying already being at this time of life in large part because of the grandchildren. Such a wonderful blessing!

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