Busting myths: 5 Keys to Having it All

Crystal Ball_SuccessMost of us have given it thought.  Most of us have even talked about it, dreamed about it.  But if pressed, most of us would probably admit that we don’t believe in it.

What am I talking about? The idea of having it all:  Great health, a vibrant community life, a nurturing intimate circle, meaningful work, a secure future. Somehow, we’ve grown into the idea that “something has to give”.

That was certainly the case for me.  Until it wasn’t.  It didn’t happen as a starburst.  There was no magical moment.  No wands were involved!  But there was assembly required.  Because before I could get to that place of knowing, I had to be willing to let go of some very comfortable excuses.  And I had to re-focus myself in areas that supported a better result.

Think of it like being a farmer.  Our life isn’t the plants, the rain or the sunshine.  Our life is like the soil.  We have to get the soil right before anything else can really flourish. Oh a few plants can come through, even thrive.  But they have to work so much harder they zap all of the available “energy” and the garden is sparse.  So I learned that if I focused on taking care of the “soil”, the rest became much easier.

So how exactly do you do that? It’s not what you might expect.  It certainly wasn’t what I expected.  But I did find 5 keys that are serving me in my own transformation and the results have really been astonishing.  Curious? Well that is one of the keys!

That’s right, the first key is to have a curious expectation.  When you have a curious expectation, you are anticipating.  That means you are scanning and searching and moments that matter are not going to pass you by.  You were looking for them.  You expected them.  Even before you knew what they would be.

The second key is to practice having a joyful response to everything in life.  That can be a tough thing to do.  Not everything that happens around us is wonderful.  But everything holds the potential to bring something wonderful from us.  And there is the joy.  If we see the “thing” that happens as a bearer of a gift, we look past the pain to see the gift.  Gratitude is another way of describing this.  But it’s an essential key.

There you have the foundation: curious expectation and a joyful response.  Perspective and mindset.

What’s at the center? The third key is being connected in the moment.  I believe this is also the best indicator that we have what could be called balance in our life.  If you are wherever you are, then you are balanced.  You are aware, you are centered and you are actively engaged.  That’s balanced.  Balance isn’t that everything is equal.  Balance is that everything is working together.  Pure and simple.  But it’s also the center of “having it all”.  What is the point of having anything if you can’t experience and enjoy it? What is the key to connecting? Consider that it just might be disconnecting.  That’s right.  You can’t be where you are if your mind or your heart are somewhere else.  I once heard someone say that for a vacation to be a real holiday, it needed to be more than a change in geography.  So true!  If you are just physically showing up, then you can’t possibly connect to where you are.   This is written here from the perspective of place but it applies across relationships as well; personal and professional and everything in between!

The last two keys are a bit more pragmatic but just as important. The fourth key is to begin early and the fifth key is to develop sustainable energy.  You need to start early and be able to go long.  That takes energy.  Going back to our analogy of life as the soil, it means there has to be some slow release nutrients involved.  How do you do this? By taking care of yourself first.

One of today’s thought leaders for whom I have tremendous respect and always recommend as a source of wisdom and growth is Robin Sharma.  In his success programs, one of the actions he encourages people to take is to start their day at 5:00 am.  My initial reaction was a bit skeptical.  I didn’t see how that would make a difference.  We’re not all morning people after all.  But what I’ve learned is that it’s less about the hour and more about the sacredness of personal time.  Most of us do start our days at 7:00 or 8:00.  And we’re starting when everyone else is starting.  It’s much more challenging to protect that sacred space we all need for thought, for introspection, for prayer, for centering.  Once I began following his advice amazing changes started happening with my productivity and my overall sense of well being.  Why? Because I had created that space for myself and let my own vision create the day before it began.

The power that comes from that personal focus also delivers a longer burn for energy.  But we still need to keep the fires going.  And that’s where our personal habits come into the equation.  When we eat well, when we move, when we rest well – all of that works together to make our bodies run efficiently.  Unfortunately, it’s one of the first places where we deny ourselves.  We don’t “have the time” or “the money” or “the energy”.. Sound familiar? I didn’t think I did either.  Until I ran out of all of them because I didn’t take the time, invest the money or cherish the energy.  As I make the journey back to good health, I can attest to the fact that there is nothing more precious we can give ourselves than the energy to do the things we want to do – the things we must do.

These were my five keys. Perhaps they are yours as well.  If you already “have it all” I salute you.  But if not, here’s my challenge – pick just one and work on it over the next 30 days.  And see how things shift for you.  Imagine that you have it all now but that the picture is just out of focus so you can’t see it.  With each of these five keys, you sharpen the focus that much more and in the end your life is exactly the vision you imagined it could be.

Crave what’s next, practice gratitude, be connected, start early and take care of yourself along the way.

Sound good? It’s going to feel even better!

Enjoy the journey.  Live today like you want tomorrow to be.





  1. OH MY! Up ate 5am? Ok. Maybe I will give it a try. I get it. I really do but I decided years ago that I will never be a morning person.

    • I completely understand! But the key is that you decided. Now you may decide differently… I was very much the same way. 7:00 AM was a struggle for me but once I got my personal routine in place for my journal, walking and personal prayer time I found that I wanted to get up! There was no desire to hit the snooze any longer because what I was waking up to do was so fulfilling! I do hope you’ll give it a try. Even if it’s just an extra 30 minutes to start, it can make such a huge difference. Thanks for stopping by!
      Kathi Laughman recently posted..Busting myths: 5 Keys to Having it AllMy Profile

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