How much life are you leaving on the table?

There is a phrase used sometimes when talking about negotiations that, when you stop and think about it, has a broader application. It speaks to the difference between what someone actually pays and how much they were willing to pay. It’s referred to as the seller perhaps leaving “money on the table” by underpricing or giving in to negotiation pressure. It comes down to how much was possible from the transaction vs. how much was realized.

Let’s think about this beyond just financial negotiations and look at how we negotiate with ourselves about our lives and work. Over the past few months I have found myself asking: How much life am I leaving on the table? Is there a difference between how much life is possible vs. how much I am settling for?

In a word – Yes.

What is behind the idea of settling? It’s not all bad, is it? Sometimes we go along to get along. I’ve done it. I hope I’ve matured enough to know to choose my battles. But this goes deeper. It speaks to the dangers of too much compromise and not enough fight, particularly with (and for) ourselves!

As I thought about this, the first thing that came to mind was learning how to recognize when it is happening.  After all, how would we ever know?

Wisdom from Thomas Edison prompted this personal inquiry for me with this statement: “When you think you have exhausted all of the possibilities remember this: You haven’t!”

I thought about all the factors that might create a limited perspective of what was possible. There were five that kept coming up over and over. Here they are:

  1. Limiting Beliefs
  2. Limiting Choices
  3. Limiting Circle
  4. Limiting Practices
  5. Limiting Purpose

There is no question that when we limit what we believe about ourselves and our possibilities we are leaving life on the table. After all, if we don’t think it’s possible, we won’t even try.

And, the idea of only an “either / or” in choice has always befuddled me. I lean toward both or more instead of just allowing for one or the other. Since when did choices become mutually exclusive? One way of thinking about this is:  Why settle for A or H – why not choose both and create AHA! True creativity rejects choices that are limited. Just imagine if we had settled for red and blue and never discovered purple!

There is a belief often taught in personal development circles that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.  While there are nuances to that – there is a genesis of something very true here. Our sphere of influence is so important. How can you expect to stay inspired and encouraged if no one you are in the trenches with shares your vision or ideals?

The idea of limiting practices is typically my nemesis. Wanting to attain something is good and it’s a start but wanting something isn’t what gets it done. Our daily practices make that happen. We think of this for our health without question. But it’s true in your work as well. What must happen every day or every week to move your needle forward? When we limit what we are willing to do daily, we leave life on the table. As I heard recently, when we aren’t achieving what we want, it’s rarely a lack of knowledge or know-how. We know what to do. We just don’t seem to know how to get ourselves to consistently do it! Sound familiar?

Candidly, the last one on the list came first or second when I first started thinking about this, but as new ones came up, it kept getting pushed down. I’m giving that some thought but for now consider that if you don’t have an unfettered purpose you are leaving so much on the table. It speaks to belief but goes beyond it. This is where we think about 10X or 100X or possibly 1000X factors for what we believe we can accomplish. Not for ourselves, but as an agent of change in the world. I may have to re-think where this one goes in its ranking on the list.

What do you want to be true 90 days from now in your life or work? At the end of 2020? By the end of this decade?

Consider these factors for yourself. Make sure you aren’t leaving any life on the table.

Live today like you WANT tomorrow to be.  Live WELL!

Beginnings and endings… Are you ready for today?

My favored space where I write and work is filled with creative work from other artists as well as my own. My favorite pieces are where images and words collide and create illustrations that move me.

Just above my desk is such a piece. It isn’t a large work. It only measures 12” by 12” – one square foot. It covers only the basic measure of space. And yet it expresses the drive that fuels my work and inspires me every day. It’s a stretched canvas that has a transferred print from the artist Bonnie Mohr. It has a striking image of a tree in a field with open fencing against a sky with both shadows and the sun. The tree is mature with wide full branches. Its shape is lovely but has gaps through which you see the sky beyond it. You just know that this tree is the keeper of many secrets and dreams.

A tree tells the story of a seed that sprouts roots first and then grows to its fullness in time. We share a similar story. We are born, our roots begin to form even as we grow. For both of us, how we adapt to a changing environment and assimilate all of the elements thrown at us has a great deal to do with how we grow. The impact is in our shape, size, even character.  The tree in this picture has a strong character.

The image frames these words: “Nobody can go back and start a new BEGINNING, but ANYONE can start today and make a new ENDING.” 

We cannot begin again. We’ve already started. For me, it’s not even something I would desire. To start again, I would lose too much of what is dear to me. What I can start today is a new chapter. The ending is still being written. The ending is still mine to choose based on what I choose today. Like the tree, we just keep living. We keep growing and reaching for new horizons.

One of my personal mentors is Robin Sharma.  From his teachings, I incorporated a mantra within my morning reflection where I focus my day before it begins. It is this:

“Every day, in every way, I am growing wiser and stronger. Today will be my best day.”

It is the first part of the mantra that makes the second part true. As we come into each day we bring with us all of the strength and wisdom of each and every day that came before.  We have this incredible bank of experience and knowledge that is unique to us and that moment in our lives.  All we have to do is learn and leverage to make every day our best day. That does not diminish the value of any day that came before. In fact, it honors those days by building on them.

Are you ready for your best day? Are you ready for today?

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

 

Insights from collectibles: Our friend time

I am a collector.  Throughout my life what I have actively collected has changed but there is always something that I am “collecting”.  At one point in my life, that “something” was clocks.  I’ve now progressed from collecting clocks to having a collection of clocks.

Recently I realized that when I look around at my various collections there seems to be something underlying them all.  What does my clock collection reveal? I am fascinated by and intimately value time. I remain curious as to why we feel such a need to measure it.

Very few of my clocks reliably work.  Each one has a different time displayed most of the time.  It drives some of my friends crazy.  I gave up trying to keep up with them. They are now a reminder of the gift of time, not a measuring of it.

Time.  A moment. A season. A lifetime. Eternity.

Impossible to fully explain other than to say it is without question one place where everything and everyone is equal.  Time is time.  Throughout history, it has been studied and debated.  It is beyond anything else what we ultimately seem to covet most.  And it is something we cannot create or buy.  Many of the most quoted proverbs and sayings have indeed been about our old friend (or enemy!) time.  Here are two that are among my favorites:

Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side.  ~The Talmud

Man measures time and time measures man.” ~ Italian proverb

Some of the most compelling thoughts on time are found in antiquity and the Bible.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 is perhaps one of the most quoted sections penned by Solomon celebrated for his wisdom. For me, it expresses eloquently the lessons we need to learn and remember: “For everything, there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.”

It brought to mind a song that is an old favorite – Turn! Turn! Turn!   This video is a wonderful opportunity to experience that music again and enjoy some incredible photography and images at the same time.  This bit of musical nostalgia for me reminded me of another favorite thought on time from an old English proverb: Time has wings.

Time.  A gift.  Invest it well.

 

Time For Something New

One of my favorite insights on life comes from Golda Meir. When asked for her thoughts about her achievements and the role she played on a global stage, she offered this advice:

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life.

Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”

The power lies in the fact that we determine which achievements and which sparks to fan into those flames. There is the key – WE must decide. WE must do.

Here are three questions that can help you determine if you are on your own best personal path or if you have become a bit too comfortable in that easy chair of your life:

#1:  When was the last time you tried something new?

Think about this for a moment. Do you always eat the same food?  Listen to the same music?  Read the same authors?  Go to the same places?  Spend time with the same people? If you aren’t exposing yourself to any new experiences, the rut is going to happen naturally. You’re going back and forth in a groove.

#2:  How much are you learning and growing right now?

There is an unlimited curriculum in life for learning. What do you want to know that right now you don’t?  Do you have a learning strategy that is aligned to your life strategy?

#3:  When was the last time you took a REAL risk?

Has something happened in your life or work that has made you more risk averse? Perhaps the economy. Disappointments in relationships. Missed opportunities. When that happens, it can be like the first time we touch a hot stove – it’s pretty rare for us to go back again. We experienced something that didn’t pay off. The danger is that once we’ve started thinking in terms of risk we begin to see all risk the same. We’ve forgotten that risk itself has changed.

Not taking risks today is in fact the greatest risk. Are you employed and know your industry or function is in decline?  Are you taking any risks to change your situation?  Risk could mean investing $$’s in education; it could mean starting your own part-time business; it could simply mean facing your fears and going to a networking function and meeting new people. What we fear the most is usually what is in truth holding us back. Face the fear and remove the obstacle.

If any of these questions resonate with you, it is important to remember that you hold the power to break the barrier of that comfort zone.

There are only three things you need to do:

1)      Decide you are ready for change

2)      Decide where you want to start

3)      Choose one action you can do NOW and BEGIN!

Once you are moving in the right direction, momentum will take over. The fresh energy you experience from changing one thing will also fuel other fires. The sparks will carry into every area of your life.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

 

Create Impact as a Business for Good

Are you ready to feel satisfaction about what you’re doing to make a difference?

Are you ready to break down barriers that are keeping you from capturing the best relationships, creating loyalty, and having a future that is secure?

All of that and more is possible.

“Never has there been a more exciting time for all of us to explore this next great frontier where the boundaries between work and higher purpose are merging into one, where doing good really is good for business.” – Sir Richard Branson

To compete in the future for talent and clients you need a plan for creating impact beyond your products or services.

We’re here to help.

Eye of the beholder: Captivated, Enthralled, Awed

When I think about Sundays, what I value is communion, reflection, music, words, and community. These values have developed over a lifetime of Sundays. But in reality, those are my values every day.  Sunday is just the day I set aside to celebrate those values. The day we choose is not important.  What matters is that we take the time.

Taking time to commune and reflect, alone and within a community, is how new perspectives can be born.  We all need those moments that form the genesis of creating a new lens – a new portal for seeing ourselves, our loved ones, our work, our lives, our world.  We all need this now more than ever. A year ago, I posted a music video selection that focuses on the idea of perspective and how things shift depending on what we allow ourselves to see, or even not to see.  It’s an incredible work and worthy of sharing again.

I would encourage you to expand your screen (mind) and let the images and words soak in. Borrowing from the title, make this a moment for beholding the world anew.

What a wonderful moment to take us into the week. As we return to our routines, old and new, let’s once again see that world of our childhood and as the speaker exhorts us: be captivated, enthralled, awed.