Beginnings and endings… Are you ready for today?

December 30, 2019 By

My favored space where I write and work is filled with creative work from other artists as well as my own. My favorite pieces are where images and words collide and create illustrations that move me.

Just above my desk is such a piece. It isn’t a large work. It only measures 12” by 12” – one square foot. It covers only the basic measure of space. And yet it expresses the drive that fuels my work and inspires me every day. It’s a stretched canvas that has a transferred print from the artist Bonnie Mohr. It has a striking image of a tree in a field with open fencing against a sky with both shadows and the sun. The tree is mature with wide full branches. Its shape is lovely but has gaps through which you see the sky beyond it. You just know that this tree is the keeper of many secrets and dreams.

A tree tells the story of a seed that sprouts roots first and then grows to its fullness in time. We share a similar story. We are born, our roots begin to form even as we grow. For both of us, how we adapt to a changing environment and assimilate all of the elements thrown at us has a great deal to do with how we grow. The impact is in our shape, size, even character.  The tree in this picture has a strong character.

The image frames these words: “Nobody can go back and start a new BEGINNING, but ANYONE can start today and make a new ENDING.” 

We cannot begin again. We’ve already started. For me, it’s not even something I would desire. To start again, I would lose too much of what is dear to me. What I can start today is a new chapter. The ending is still being written. The ending is still mine to choose based on what I choose today. Like the tree, we just keep living. We keep growing and reaching for new horizons.

One of my personal mentors is Robin Sharma.  From his teachings, I incorporated a mantra within my morning reflection where I focus my day before it begins. It is this:

“Every day, in every way, I am growing wiser and stronger. Today will be my best day.”

It is the first part of the mantra that makes the second part true. As we come into each day we bring with us all of the strength and wisdom of each and every day that came before.  We have this incredible bank of experience and knowledge that is unique to us and that moment in our lives.  All we have to do is learn and leverage to make every day our best day. That does not diminish the value of any day that came before. In fact, it honors those days by building on them.

Are you ready for your best day? Are you ready for today?

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

 

Filed Under: Adjusted Sails, Inspiration & Creativity, Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Resilience, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Time For Something New

November 28, 2019 By

One of my favorite insights on life comes from Golda Meir. When asked for her thoughts about her achievements and the role she played on a global stage, she offered this advice:

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life.

Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”

The power lies in the fact that we determine which achievements and which sparks to fan into those flames. There is the key – WE must decide. WE must do.

Here are three questions that can help you determine if you are on your own best personal path or if you have become a bit too comfortable in that easy chair of your life:

#1:  When was the last time you tried something new?

Think about this for a moment. Do you always eat the same food?  Listen to the same music?  Read the same authors?  Go to the same places?  Spend time with the same people? If you aren’t exposing yourself to any new experiences, the rut is going to happen naturally. You’re going back and forth in a groove.

#2:  How much are you learning and growing right now?

There is an unlimited curriculum in life for learning. What do you want to know that right now you don’t?  Do you have a learning strategy that is aligned to your life strategy?

#3:  When was the last time you took a REAL risk?

Has something happened in your life or work that has made you more risk averse? Perhaps the economy. Disappointments in relationships. Missed opportunities. When that happens, it can be like the first time we touch a hot stove – it’s pretty rare for us to go back again. We experienced something that didn’t pay off. The danger is that once we’ve started thinking in terms of risk we begin to see all risk the same. We’ve forgotten that risk itself has changed.

Not taking risks today is in fact the greatest risk. Are you employed and know your industry or function is in decline?  Are you taking any risks to change your situation?  Risk could mean investing $$’s in education; it could mean starting your own part-time business; it could simply mean facing your fears and going to a networking function and meeting new people. What we fear the most is usually what is in truth holding us back. Face the fear and remove the obstacle.

If any of these questions resonate with you, it is important to remember that you hold the power to break the barrier of that comfort zone.

There are only three things you need to do:

1)      Decide you are ready for change

2)      Decide where you want to start

3)      Choose one action you can do NOW and BEGIN!

Once you are moving in the right direction, momentum will take over. The fresh energy you experience from changing one thing will also fuel other fires. The sparks will carry into every area of your life.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

 

Filed Under: Adjusted Sails, Inspiration & Creativity, Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Resilience, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Have you considered the gifts of change?

June 19, 2019 By

The value of any disruptive change is whatever we choose it to be.

Does it in fact matter? How could it be helpful? Does it cause concern? Does it include joy?

In other words, are we happy about it? Sad? Angry? Afraid?

These are all natural and normal responses.

The key is recognizing they are also choices.

However, choice is not where our response begins.

Our attitude toward change shows up long before the choice is made and to some degree dictates the outcome.

In his book, Jumpstart Your Thinking, recognized leadership expert Dr. John C. Maxwell offers that our attitude acts like the “advance person” of our true selves. In other words, it shows up before we do, long before the main event. Over time it becomes almost instinctive. Because of that, every choice we make begins here.

It would seem then that this is an important concept to focus on when we consider where we want to grow. Do we have an attitude about change that is preempting its value?

If that is true, how do we change our attitude toward change? In the same writings, Dr. Maxwell offers this commentary about the role it plays: “It is the librarian of our past, the speaker of our present, and the prophet of our future.”  This statement holds the key. If our attitude is the speaker of our present, to change our attitude it would seem to mean we must first change how we speak about it.

Let’s start by considering what is on the other side of change – what gifts it brings and will leave in its wake.

#1- New People

Our lives expand based on the growth we allow in our inner circles. Every new relationship represents growth which is just another label for change. What are you encountering just now? What new connections are waiting there? Every best friend was once a stranger. Every business partner was once unknown to us. Change brings new ideas from new minds, new people.

#2- New Places

As a writer, place has been somewhat of a conundrum for me. We like the comfort of our “creative space” and can even begin to rely on its trappings. That was certainly the case for me. But when the creative flow stalls, quite often it is a change of place that allows it to begin streaming again. Once I realized that going to new places was a core fuel for inspiration, my attitude toward them shifted. But it’s not just about our craft. We need to experience new places to see life from a different lens.  Robin Sharma teaches that “The value of travel is not just the travel but what the travel makes of you.” Whether your travel is across town, across the country, or around the world – seek out a new lens on your life and work based on what you experience there.

#3- New Skills

Perhaps the most compelling gift of change is arguably this:  Change always brings something new to learn. That can be a daunting roadblock if we are afraid we may not be able to acquire that skill. As with people, recognizing that everything we know at some point was unknown to us can turn the dial of our attitude up. Everything we can do today, at some point we did not know how to do. And with new skills come new opportunities.

#4- New Ideas

Change is a wonderful stimulus. What we consider (or reject) changes based on new information. We find that we have greater agility for transferring knowledge and skill. We are able to cross-pollinate our understanding of how we work best. The words of Marcel Proust come to mind for this point: “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” Even what is familiar can take on new life, new breath when we allow change to adjust our lens and spark a new perspective.

#5- New Possibilities

This is my favorite because it’s the culmination of everything else. It’s the pinnacle of success when it comes to real change. When we integrate new people, places, skills, and ideas into our strategies, the possibilities exponentially grow.

We can change our relationship with change by changing our attitude toward it. We change our attitude by changing our perspective and how we view it, how we speak about it. What new people can I meet and serve? What new places can I experience? What new skills can I acquire and master? What new ideas can this generate? How does this expand the possibilities for my life and work?

In summary: What does this make possible? Once we embrace that question, we begin to master the power of true resiliency.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live (change) well.

Filed Under: Adjusted Sails, Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Resilience, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

What would you do? Setting the right response in motion

March 8, 2019 By

A key lesson that I have learned over the past few years is that the easiest way to change how we respond to things or people we encounter is to have a system in place to help us. Frustration grows when it just seems like someone or something pushes our buttons every time. That trigger is going to continue to plague us until we change it. While it’s great when we can do that just by choosing to make that change, the reality is that it’s rarely that simple.

My experience has been that it really comes to down to sleuthing, solving the mystery, evaluating vs. judging. You see, that’s where I found the real issue. We can get so busy judging ourselves for our reaction, we don’t allow ourselves the opportunity to understand it. When we understand it, we are equipped to change it in a meaningful and sustainable way.

What you give meaning to is what causes your emotion. Before you react know why you are giving something so much energy or fear. When you begin to understand why you give things meaning you can begin to change how you react and why you do what you do.  ~Shannon L. Alder

There are five key investigation tools to use that will help you master the art of reaction every time. Using the word REACT, let’s break them down.

R – Recognition

This is the first step. Simply recognizing it’s happening and taking responsibility for it. Just by asking ourselves if in fact we are reacting, we start a valuable chain reaction shift. We are taking responsibility for our side of the equation.

E – Emotion

Emotions are wonderful. They are such a part of what makes life such an exquisite experience. But they can also derail us when they are part of a triggered response. In my early training as an executive coach we broke this down into another acronym – FLAGS. We use that to identify the dominant emotion in our response. Fear, Love, Anger, Guilt or Sadness. FLAGS. Once we can pinpoint the emotion that’s involved we can begin to determine where the core response and put productive measures in place to handle it. If the trigger brings up guilt as an example, that’s very different from fear in terms of next steps. But in both cases, it is the initial recognition of the emotion that will lead us to the next right questions.

A – Attitude

What did you expect? Where are your sensitivities? Many years ago, when I was really struggling communicating with a fellow executive, I had a conversation with a trusted friend and mentor. He suggested that my sensitivities were high and that I was expecting a certain action and so that is what I saw.  My attitude was a conditioning agent. I had to first be open to a positive exchange before one could happen.  Being candid with ourselves about our expectations and attitude toward a person or situation is a critical part of our excavation to our solution.

C – Context

This was perhaps the most important element for me in a number of situations. Has someone ever asked you what a word meant and you weren’t certain or there were several possibilities? What do you normally ask them to do? I suspect it might be to ask them to use it in a sentence to help you better understand what it might mean. The context of anything is the ultimate lens for deciphering it’s meaning. What else is going on? Is it related? Not related? Is it influencing? One example might be that you’ve had a pretty long day and you’re physically exhausted. You’re tired. Does that seem to be a factor in some cases? Or perhaps there was an incident just prior that left some unresolved emotions that are spilling over.

T – Truth

What do you know to be true? This is an essential question because it allows us to get to the taproot of the situation quickly. When we take assumptions off the table or at least recognize them for what they are, we’re in fact clearing judgments and other potential mental or emotional clutter in reviewing our next steps.

R-E-A-C-T

RECOGNIZE what is happening;

Identify the dominant EMOTION;

Check your ATTITUDE coming into the situation;

Consider the CONTEXT of the situation; and,

Focus on what is TRUE.

That’s the process. That’s the system. Like anything regarding our personal framework, it’s also a skill. This can be your most effective system for productive personal change.

As a final note, remember that as we change ourselves, we are also creating the opportunity to change other people’s perspective of us as well. That’s especially true for those where we have influence but it’s also not limited there. When we employ this skill, we can inspire others to do the same. It creates a CHAIN REACTION that’s positive and constructive.

Live (react) today like you want tomorrow to be. Live (react) well.

 

Filed Under: Adjusted Sails, Possibilities & Perspective, Resilience, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

When strangers shift our lives…

January 20, 2019 By

In her Sunday Paper this week, Maria Shriver talked about the fact that it is almost always a stranger that ends up shifting our lives. I had to think about that for a moment but in the end, I would agree.

The words of strangers can cut thru the fog of what is familiar. And when their words move us, we want to take the conversation deeper.

Certainly, the authors of books and poems that touch us fall into this place of meaning.

Maria’s words brought my thoughts from this past week together.

Have you ever visited somewhere you’ve never been, and immediately it felt like home? The photograph above is of the house where some fellow writers and I lived for a week on Cape Cod last year. It is a rambling old house, originally built in 1858.

It’s an author’s house dedicated to authors.  Each of the six bedrooms is dedicated to a notable writer from New England. Every morning we would gather around an old wooden table.  One of us would represent the author of our given room for the day. We would read, then agree on a writing prompt and do what we came to do – write.

One of those writers was the Pulitzer Prize winning American poet, Mary Oliver. The morning that we read her work was special. I already owned some of her writings but had never delved into them. That changed with that morning’s exercise. Since then her work has shown up frequently in my chosen daily readings.

When I learned this past week that Ms. Oliver had breathed her last breath here on earth it took me back to that time and place. She was extraordinary. Through her seemingly ancient and yet forever young eyes she could see, and then help us to see, the astounding world we live in.

We would all be well-served to follow her advice and instructions for living our own lives.

I’ll be returning this year to that old rambling house in Cape Cod. I’m hoping that this year, Mary Oliver’s room is mine.

In the meantime, I’ll be spending time with her voice in my ear hearing that most important question:

Tell me, just what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?


Filed Under: Adjusted Sails, Learning & Growth, Resilience, Winds of Change Tagged With: ,

From Here to There to Anywhere: Living in Resilience

September 22, 2018 By

A great deal of my body of work focuses on exploring possibilities. Quite often, we have the drive and desire and certainly the commitment.  But we lack the plan.

We explore the possibilities so that we can craft the best plan.

Focusing on what is truly possible is perhaps one of the most important things we can do in order to live our lives as fully as possible.

Remarkable stories abound of people that defy the odds and go on an incredible journey beyond any boundaries that were imagined.  For all of us, because of the velocity of change in the world today, the skill of being able to fluidly go from here to there is what will in fact take us anywhere we wish to go. This is the true meaning of resilience.

One such story is British author, the late Dick Francis.  Because his later in life season showcased his skill as a superb storyteller, it would be easy to overlook how he came to that place in his journey.

I discovered him many years ago. I was a young single Mom that loved a great story and he certainly delivered. He authored 40+ books and I proudly have them all in my personal library, including those that he began co-authoring with his son, Felix before his death. His stories were full of rich characters, intriguing plots and breath-taking endings, each meticulously researched by he and his wife, Mary. You felt as if you were being taken on a private journey with him through every story.

What bears notice is that this was in fact his second career. His first was as a horseman. A renowned and gifted jockey, he was lauded in those circles for many years.

What brought him from horses to stories? Life. Injuries, age, family – all the things that happen. So how did he do it? All of his stories were set in the world he knew so well. The world of horse-racing. The people, the places, the horses. Those pictures he painted literally came off the pages. But inter-laced were new things. New places. New characters. And always intrigue.

He had always loved a story. He transported himself from the horses to his next place in life through story-telling. It is a wonderful example of how resilience serves us as we migrate through life.

When we go from here to there, we take who we are and what we know. We use it in a different way but it remains with us. There is a comfort in that.  By approaching life from this perspective, we can literally go anywhere.

The video shared below is a clip from the Memorial Service that honored him.  Listen well and hear his story.  Then live your own adventure.  The possibilities are endless.

And never forget that there is always more value from the rest of your own story than you ever dreamed possible.

 

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

Filed Under: Adjusted Sails, Inspiration & Creativity, Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Resilience, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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